1
00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:13,030
merry christmas,grandpa.

2
00:00:13,060 --> 00:00:15,460
oh,merry christmas to you,stevie.

3
00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:18,400
did you bring me any presents?

4
00:00:18,430 --> 00:00:20,260
now,why would i want to do that?

5
00:00:20,300 --> 00:00:21,460
'cause it's christmas.

6
00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:23,000
oh,i thought santa claus

7
00:00:23,030 --> 00:00:24,900
brought the presents at christmas.

8
00:00:24,930 --> 00:00:27,430
you have been a good boy this year,haven't you?

9
00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:29,460
i have,i swear.

10
00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:31,800
well,then,who knows?maybe he'll come.

11
00:01:07,430 --> 00:01:09,360
santa!

12
00:01:17,830 --> 00:01:19,660
reindeer.

13
00:02:05,430 --> 00:02:06,630
santa?

14
00:02:24,130 --> 00:02:27,000
um,my daughter and i were in our beds.

15
00:02:27,030 --> 00:02:29,960
mike was downstairs decorating the tree.

16
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,330
i heard a thump on the roof,

17
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,600
and then i-i heard mike scream,

18
00:02:34,630 --> 00:02:36,900
and now i'm talking to the fbi.

19
00:02:36,930 --> 00:02:39,030
and you didn't see any of it?

20
00:02:39,060 --> 00:02:42,430
no,he was...he was just gone.

21
00:02:42,460 --> 00:02:44,500
the doors were locked?there was no forced entry?

22
00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:45,500
that's right.

23
00:02:45,530 --> 00:02:47,030
does anybody else have a key?my parents.

24
00:02:47,060 --> 00:02:48,700
where do they live?

25
00:02:48,730 --> 00:02:50,160
florida.

26
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,460
thanks for letting me have a look around,mrs. walsh.

27
00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:54,860
i think we,uh,got just about everything we need.

28
00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:56,630
we're all set.

29
00:02:56,660 --> 00:02:58,130
we'll be in touch.

30
00:03:01,930 --> 00:03:03,760
agents...

31
00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:07,860
t-the police said my husband might have been kidnapped.

32
00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:09,230
could be.

33
00:03:09,260 --> 00:03:12,000
then why haven't the kidnappers called

34
00:03:12,030 --> 00:03:14,230
o-or -- or demanded a ransom?

35
00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:16,400
it's three days till christmas.

36
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:19,030
what am i supposed to tell our daughter?

37
00:03:19,060 --> 00:03:20,960
we're very sorry.

38
00:03:29,130 --> 00:03:30,860
find anything?

39
00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:33,800
stockings,mistletoe...this.

40
00:03:33,830 --> 00:03:35,760
a tooth?where was this?

41
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,360
in the chimney.

42
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:39,630
no way a man fits up a chimney.it's too narrow.

43
00:03:39,660 --> 00:03:41,230
no way he fits up in one piece.

44
00:03:41,260 --> 00:03:43,360
all right,so,if dad went up the chimney --

45
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,560
we need to find out what dragged him up there.

46
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,460
so,was i right?

47
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:58,030
is it the serial-killing chimney sweep?

48
00:03:58,060 --> 00:03:59,200
yep.

49
00:03:59,230 --> 00:04:01,800
it's,uh,it's actually dick van dyke.

50
00:04:01,830 --> 00:04:02,730
who?

51
00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,530
"mary poppins."who's that?

52
00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:05,930
oh,come on --never mind.

53
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,860
it turns out that walsh is the second guy in town

54
00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:09,800
grabbed out of his house this month.

55
00:04:09,830 --> 00:04:11,030
oh,yeah?yeah.

56
00:04:11,060 --> 00:04:13,060
the other guy get dragged up the chimney,too?

57
00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:16,300
don't know. witnesses said they heard a thump on the roof.

58
00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:18,060
so,what the hell do you think we're dealing with?

59
00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:20,360
actually,i have an idea.yeah?

60
00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,060
it's,uh,it's gonna sound crazy.

61
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:24,460
what could you possibly say that sounds crazy to me?

62
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,230
evil santa.

63
00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:31,130
yeah,that's crazy.

64
00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:33,130
yeah...i mean,i'm just saying

65
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:36,660
that there's some version of the anti-claus in every culture.

66
00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:38,730
you got belsnickel,krampus,black peter.

67
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,460
whatever you want to call it,there's all sorts of lore.

68
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:42,730
saying what?

69
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,830
saying back in the day,santa's brother went rogue,

70
00:04:44,860 --> 00:04:46,430
and now he shows up around christmastime.

71
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:48,430
instead of bringing presents,he punishes the wicked.

72
00:04:48,460 --> 00:04:49,830
by hauling their ass up chimneys?

73
00:04:49,860 --> 00:04:51,330
for starters,yeah.

74
00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:54,300
so,this is your theory,huh? santa's shady brother?

75
00:04:54,330 --> 00:04:57,260
well,i'm just saying,that's what the lore says.

76
00:04:57,300 --> 00:04:59,130
santa doesn't have a brother.there is no santa.

77
00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:00,500
yeah,i know.

78
00:05:00,530 --> 00:05:01,760
you're the one who told me that in the first place

79
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:02,760
remember?

80
00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:09,230
yeah,you know what?i could be wrong.

81
00:05:09,260 --> 00:05:11,600
i...

82
00:05:11,630 --> 00:05:12,960
...got to be wrong.

83
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,600
maybe,maybe not.

84
00:05:14,630 --> 00:05:16,530
what?

85
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:19,460
i did a little digging --turns out both victims

86
00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:21,500
visited the same place before they got snatched.

87
00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:22,730
where?

88
00:05:35,130 --> 00:05:37,800
it does kind of lend credence to the theory,don't it?

89
00:05:37,830 --> 00:05:39,900
yeah,but anti-claus?

90
00:05:39,930 --> 00:05:41,600
couldn't be.

91
00:05:41,630 --> 00:05:43,130
it's a christmas miracle.

92
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:45,630
hey,speaking of,we should have one this year.

93
00:05:45,660 --> 00:05:47,830
have one what?a christmas.

94
00:05:47,860 --> 00:05:49,300
no,thanks.

95
00:05:49,330 --> 00:05:51,760
no,we'll get a tree,a little boston market --

96
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,500
just like when we were little.

97
00:05:53,530 --> 00:05:56,230
dean,those weren't exactly hallmark memories for me.

98
00:05:56,260 --> 00:05:57,100
what are you talking about?

99
00:05:57,100 --> 00:05:58,460
we had some great christmases.

100
00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:00,000
whose childhood are you talking about?

101
00:06:00,030 --> 00:06:01,800
oh,come on,sam.

102
00:06:01,830 --> 00:06:04,600
no,just...no.

103
00:06:06,230 --> 00:06:08,160
all right,grinch.

104
00:06:26,860 --> 00:06:29,400
what is that?

105
00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:31,060
a present for dad.

106
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:33,000
yeah,right.

107
00:06:33,030 --> 00:06:35,160
where'd you get the money --steal it?

108
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,660
no. uncle bobby gave it to me to give to him.

109
00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:39,230
said it was real special.

110
00:06:39,260 --> 00:06:40,500
what is it?

111
00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:41,860
a pony.

112
00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:44,200
very funny.

113
00:06:49,130 --> 00:06:50,860
dad's gonna be here,right?

114
00:06:50,900 --> 00:06:52,300
he'll be here.

115
00:06:52,330 --> 00:06:54,030
it's christmas.

116
00:06:54,060 --> 00:06:55,560
he knows.

117
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:57,560
and he'll be here --promise.

118
00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:58,900
where is he,anyway?

119
00:06:58,930 --> 00:06:59,960
on business.

120
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,260
what kind of business?

121
00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:02,960
you know that.

122
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,630
he sells stuff.

123
00:07:04,660 --> 00:07:07,130
what kind of stuff?stuff.

124
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,930
nobody ever tells me anything.

125
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:10,930
then quit asking.

126
00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:21,460
is dad a spy?

127
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:23,560
mm-hmm.he's james bond.

128
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,660
why do we move around so much?

129
00:07:25,700 --> 00:07:28,630
'cause everywhere we go,they get sick of your face.

130
00:07:31,730 --> 00:07:34,130
i'm old enough,dean. you can tell me the truth.

131
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,830
you don't want to know the truth. believe me.

132
00:07:37,860 --> 00:07:40,760
is that why we never talk about...mom?

133
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:41,930
shut up!

134
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,900
<i>don't you ever talk about mom -- ever!</i>

135
00:07:48,230 --> 00:07:50,230
wait.where are you going?

136
00:07:50,260 --> 00:07:52,230
out.

137
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:03,030
you'd think with the 10 bucks it costs to get into this place,

138
00:08:03,060 --> 00:08:05,400
santa could scrounge up a little snow.

139
00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:09,330
what?

140
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:13,030
nothing.what are we looking for,again?

141
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:18,060
lore says that the anti-claus

142
00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:21,400
will walk with a limp and smell like sweets.

143
00:08:21,430 --> 00:08:23,730
great. so we're looking for a pimp santa.

144
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,100
why the sweets?

145
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,860
think about it,dean.

146
00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:28,060
if you smell like candy

147
00:08:28,060 --> 00:08:30,760
the kids will come closer,you know?

148
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,600
that's creepy.

149
00:08:32,630 --> 00:08:34,060
how does this thing know

150
00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:36,500
who's been naughty and who's been nice?

151
00:08:36,530 --> 00:08:38,260
i don't know.

152
00:08:39,860 --> 00:08:42,960
so,ronny,come sit on santa's knee.

153
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,260
ah,there you go.

154
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:46,530
you been a good boy this year?yeah

155
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:49,030
good.

156
00:08:49,060 --> 00:08:51,830
santa's got a special gift for you

157
00:08:54,330 --> 00:08:55,800
maybe we do

158
00:08:59,530 --> 00:09:01,500
welcome to santa's court.

159
00:09:01,530 --> 00:09:03,030
can i escort your child to santa?

160
00:09:03,060 --> 00:09:04,600
n-no. no.

161
00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:06,430
uh,but,actually,my brother here --

162
00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:07,830
it's been a lifelong dream of his.

163
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:13,060
uh,sorry.no kids over...12.

164
00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:15,700
no,he's just kidding.we only came here to watch.

165
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:25,060
i-i didn't mean that we came here to w--y

166
00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:27,660
thanks a lot,dean.thanks for that.

167
00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:30,330
check it out.

168
00:09:41,660 --> 00:09:43,130
are you seeing this?

169
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,230
a lot of people walk with limps,right?

170
00:09:45,260 --> 00:09:47,800
tell me you didn't smell that.that was candy,man.

171
00:09:47,830 --> 00:09:50,100
that was ripple -- i think.had to be.

172
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:54,530
maybe. we willing to take that chance?

173
00:09:56,430 --> 00:10:00,030
what time is it?

174
00:10:00,060 --> 00:10:02,730
same as the last time you asked.

175
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,630
here.

176
00:10:04,660 --> 00:10:06,260
caffeinate.

177
00:10:14,330 --> 00:10:16,260
wonderful.

178
00:10:19,530 --> 00:10:20,960
hey,sam...

179
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,800
yeah?

180
00:10:23,830 --> 00:10:26,330
why are you the boy that hates christmas?

181
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,260
dean...i mean,i admit it --

182
00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:31,830
we had a few bumpy holidays when we were kids."bumpy"?

183
00:10:31,860 --> 00:10:34,430
that was then.we'll do it right this year.

184
00:10:34,460 --> 00:10:36,760
look,dean,if you want to have christmas

185
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,360
knock yourself out.

186
00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,060
just don't involve me.

187
00:10:42,060 --> 00:10:43,600
oh,yeah,that'd be great --

188
00:10:43,630 --> 00:10:45,930
me and myself making cranberry molds.

189
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,100
what's up with saint nicotine?

190
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:15,800
what?

191
00:11:15,830 --> 00:11:17,060
nothing.

192
00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:19,400
it's just that,uh...well,you know,

193
00:11:19,430 --> 00:11:21,660
mr. gung ho christmas might have to blow away santa.

194
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:31,160
what the hell are you doing here?

195
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,700
i'm really not interested,okay?

196
00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:41,830
jingle my bells...

197
00:11:41,860 --> 00:11:45,730
s-silent night

198
00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:49,330
holy...

199
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:52,230
...night  ...night

200
00:11:52,260 --> 00:11:55,200
* all is well * all is well

201
00:11:55,230 --> 00:11:58,330
* all is dry

202
00:11:58,360 --> 00:11:59,500
* bright

203
00:11:59,530 --> 00:12:02,660
* 'round and 'round

204
00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:05,760
* the table...

205
00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:35,860
santa,you're early!

206
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:10,800
so,that's how your son described the attack?

207
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,700
"santa took daddy up the chimney"?

208
00:14:13,730 --> 00:14:15,630
that's what he says,yes.

209
00:14:15,660 --> 00:14:17,000
and where were you?

210
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:18,230
i was asleep.

211
00:14:18,260 --> 00:14:20,500
and all of a sudden...

212
00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:23,730
...i was being dragged out of bed,screaming.

213
00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:25,800
did you see the attacker?

214
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,930
it was dark,and he hit me.

215
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,200
he knocked me out.

216
00:14:31,230 --> 00:14:33,760
i'm sorry.i know this is hard.

217
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,900
yeah...um,mrs. caldwell,

218
00:14:36,930 --> 00:14:39,230
where did you get that wreath above the fireplace?

219
00:14:45,830 --> 00:14:47,660
excuse me?

220
00:14:51,830 --> 00:14:54,230
just curious,you know.

221
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,330
wreaths,huh?

222
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:00,230
sure you didn't want to ask her about her shoes?

223
00:15:00,260 --> 00:15:02,130
i saw some nice handbags in the foyer.

224
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:04,430
we've seen that wreath before,dean.

225
00:15:04,460 --> 00:15:05,500
where?

226
00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:08,130
the walshes'.yesterday.

227
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,600
i know,i was just testing you.

228
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:17,900
yeah. all right.well,keep looking,would you?

229
00:15:17,930 --> 00:15:19,460
thanks,bobby.

230
00:15:23,260 --> 00:15:24,930
what did bobby say?

231
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:26,900
uh,that we're morons.

232
00:15:26,930 --> 00:15:28,330
he also said

233
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:31,000
that it was probably meadowsweet in those wreaths.

234
00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:33,100
wow! amazing.

235
00:15:33,130 --> 00:15:34,930
what the hell is meadowsweet?

236
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,330
it's pretty rare,

237
00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:38,300
and it's probably the most powerful plant in pagan lore.

238
00:15:38,330 --> 00:15:40,460
pagan lore? yeah.

239
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:43,160
see,they used meadowsweet for human sacrifices.

240
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,630
it was kind of like a...chum for their gods.

241
00:15:45,660 --> 00:15:47,930
gods were drawn to it,and they'd stop by

242
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:49,700
and snack on whatever was the nearest human.

243
00:15:49,730 --> 00:15:51,830
why would somebody be using that for christmas wreaths?

244
00:15:51,860 --> 00:15:53,800
it's not as crazy as it sounds,dean.

245
00:15:53,830 --> 00:15:56,530
i mean,pretty much every christmas tradition is pagan.

246
00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:58,460
christmas is jesus' birthday.

247
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,930
no,jesus' birthday was probably in the fall.

248
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,300
it was actually the winter solstice festival

249
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:05,630
that was co-opted by the church and renamed "christmas."

250
00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:07,830
but the yule log,the tree,even santa's red suit

251
00:16:07,860 --> 00:16:09,460
that's all remnants of pagan worship.

252
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:10,930
how do you know that?

253
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,400
what are you gonna tell me next?

254
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,160
easter bunny's jewish?

255
00:16:15,700 --> 00:16:18,230
so,you think we're dealing with a pagan god?

256
00:16:18,260 --> 00:16:22,360
yeah,probably hold nickar,god of the winter solstice.

257
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,530
and all these martha stewart wannabes,

258
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:27,330
buying these fancy wreaths...

259
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:30,100
it's pretty much like putting a neon sign on your front door

260
00:16:30,130 --> 00:16:31,200
saying,"come kill us."

261
00:16:31,230 --> 00:16:32,800
great.

262
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:35,900
when you sacrifice to hold nickar,

263
00:16:35,930 --> 00:16:37,900
guess what he gives you in return.

264
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,300
lap dances,hopefully.

265
00:16:39,330 --> 00:16:40,630
mild weather.

266
00:16:43,230 --> 00:16:44,960
like no snow in the middle of december

267
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,760
in the middle of michigan. for instance.

268
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,230
do we know how to kill it yet?

269
00:16:48,260 --> 00:16:49,860
no,bobby's working on that right now.

270
00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:52,200
we got to figure out where they're selling those wreaths.

271
00:16:52,230 --> 00:16:54,800
you think they're selling them on purpose?

272
00:16:54,830 --> 00:16:57,000
feeding the victims to this thing?

273
00:16:58,500 --> 00:16:59,900
let's find out.

274
00:17:08,630 --> 00:17:09,860
help you boys?

275
00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:11,330
uh,hope so.

276
00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:14,400
uh,we were playing jenga with the walshes the other night,

277
00:17:14,430 --> 00:17:17,300
and he hasn't shut up since about this christmas wreath.

278
00:17:17,330 --> 00:17:19,300
i don't know.you tell him.

279
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,160
sure.

280
00:17:22,860 --> 00:17:24,400
it was yummy.

281
00:17:28,230 --> 00:17:30,860
i sell a lot of wreaths,guys.

282
00:17:30,900 --> 00:17:32,930
right,right,but you see,

283
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:34,900
this one would have been really special.

284
00:17:34,930 --> 00:17:39,060
it had,uh,it had,uh,green leaves,um,white buds on it.

285
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:41,430
it might have been made of,uh,meadowsweet?

286
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:44,030
well...aren't you a fussy one?

287
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,760
he is.

288
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,660
anyway,i know the one you're talking about.

289
00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:51,100
i'm all out.

290
00:17:51,130 --> 00:17:53,430
seems like this meadowsweet stuff's rare and expensive.

291
00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:54,900
why make wreaths out of it?

292
00:17:54,930 --> 00:17:56,600
beats me.i didn't make them.

293
00:17:56,630 --> 00:17:57,800
who did?

294
00:17:57,830 --> 00:17:59,160
madge carrigan  a local lady.

295
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,960
said the wreaths were so special,she gave them for free.

296
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,930
she didn't charge you? nope.

297
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:05,430
did you sell them for free?

298
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:06,660
hell,no.it's christmas.

299
00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:08,500
people pay a buttload for this crap.

300
00:18:08,530 --> 00:18:09,600
that's the spirit.

301
00:18:12,060 --> 00:18:15,700
how much do you think a meadowsweet wreath would cost?

302
00:18:15,730 --> 00:18:17,630
a couple hundred dollars,at least.

303
00:18:17,660 --> 00:18:19,730
this lady's giving them away for free?

304
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:21,430
what do you think about that?

305
00:18:21,460 --> 00:18:25,230
well,sounds pretty suspicious.

306
00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:29,730
remember that wreath dad brought home that one year?

307
00:18:31,230 --> 00:18:33,860
do you mean the one he stole from,like,a liquor store?

308
00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:37,300
yeah,it was a bunch of empty beer cans.

309
00:18:37,330 --> 00:18:38,860
that thing was great.

310
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:41,030
i bet if i looked around hard enough,

311
00:18:41,060 --> 00:18:43,660
i could probably find one just like it.

312
00:18:43,700 --> 00:18:45,030
all right...

313
00:18:45,060 --> 00:18:46,900
dude...

314
00:18:46,930 --> 00:18:49,000
what's going on with you? what?

315
00:18:49,030 --> 00:18:51,500
i mean,since when are you bing crosby all of a sudden?

316
00:18:51,530 --> 00:18:53,700
why do you want to do christmas so bad?

317
00:18:53,730 --> 00:18:55,500
why are you so against it?

318
00:18:55,530 --> 00:18:57,300
were your childhood memories that traumatic?

319
00:18:57,330 --> 00:18:58,800
no,that has nothing to do with it.

320
00:18:58,830 --> 00:19:00,630
then what?

321
00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:02,460
i mean,i-i just --i don't get it.

322
00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:04,660
you haven't talked about christmas in years.

323
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,160
well,yeah.

324
00:19:10,660 --> 00:19:12,100
this is my last year.

325
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:20,300
i know.

326
00:19:22,730 --> 00:19:24,800
that's why i can't.

327
00:19:26,460 --> 00:19:28,000
what do you mean?

328
00:19:31,430 --> 00:19:35,230
i mean i can't just sit around,

329
00:19:35,260 --> 00:19:38,460
drinking eggnog,pretending everything's okay

330
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:41,200
when i know next christmas you'll be dead.

331
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,460
i just can't.

332
00:20:02,430 --> 00:20:03,930
thought you went out.

333
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:07,300
yeah.to get you dinner.

334
00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:10,560
don't forget your vegetables.

335
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,860
i know why you keep a gun under your pillow.

336
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,730
no,you don't.stay out of my stuff.

337
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,460
and i know why we lay salt down everywhere we go.

338
00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:33,860
no,you don't.shut up.

339
00:20:40,330 --> 00:20:43,060
where'd you get that? that's dad's!

340
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:45,300
he's gonna kick your ass for reading that.

341
00:20:45,330 --> 00:20:46,760
are monsters real?

342
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,760
what?you're crazy.

343
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:49,760
tell me.

344
00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:04,700
i swear,if you ever tell dad i told you any of this,

345
00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:06,260
i will end you.

346
00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:07,900
promise.

347
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:17,700
well,the first thing you have to know

348
00:21:17,730 --> 00:21:20,700
is we have the coolest dad in the world.

349
00:21:20,730 --> 00:21:22,430
he's a superhero.

350
00:21:22,460 --> 00:21:24,700
he is?  yeah.

351
00:21:24,730 --> 00:21:27,260
monsters are real.

352
00:21:28,630 --> 00:21:30,530
dad fights them.

353
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:32,330
he's fighting them right now.

354
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:35,260
but dad said the monsters under my bed weren't real.

355
00:21:35,300 --> 00:21:38,560
that's 'cause he had already checked under there.

356
00:21:40,330 --> 00:21:42,100
but,yeah,they're real.

357
00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:44,700
almost everything's real.

358
00:21:44,730 --> 00:21:46,300
is santa real?

359
00:21:46,330 --> 00:21:48,600
no.

360
00:21:52,030 --> 00:21:55,060
if monsters are real,then they could get us.

361
00:21:55,100 --> 00:21:57,800
they could get me. dad's not gonna let them get you.

362
00:21:57,830 --> 00:21:59,130
but what if they get him?

363
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,560
they aren't gonna get dad.

364
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,500
dad's,like,the best.

365
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,600
i read in dad's book that they got mom.

366
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,060
it's complicated,sam.

367
00:22:13,100 --> 00:22:14,900
if they got mom,they can get dad.

368
00:22:14,930 --> 00:22:17,230
and if they get dad,they can get us.

369
00:22:17,260 --> 00:22:19,330
it's not like that.

370
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:23,060
okay,dad's fine.

371
00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:24,800
we're fine.

372
00:22:24,830 --> 00:22:26,330
trust me.

373
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,000
you okay?

374
00:22:34,030 --> 00:22:36,330
yeah.

375
00:22:39,100 --> 00:22:42,860
hey,dad's gonna be here for christmas...

376
00:22:42,900 --> 00:22:44,500
just like he always is.

377
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:50,030
i just want to go to sleep,okay?

378
00:22:54,330 --> 00:22:57,060
yeah,okay.

379
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,500
it'll all be better when you wake up.

380
00:23:06,730 --> 00:23:08,660
you'll see.

381
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,730
promise.

382
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,330
this is where mrs. wreath lives,huh?

383
00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:35,830
can't you just feel the evil pagan vibe?

384
00:23:42,430 --> 00:23:44,230
yes?

385
00:23:44,260 --> 00:23:47,060
please tell me you're the madge carrigan who makes the meadowsweet wreaths.

386
00:23:47,100 --> 00:23:48,630
why,yes,i am.

387
00:23:48,660 --> 00:23:49,760
ha! bingo.

388
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,700
well,we were just admiring your wreaths

389
00:23:51,730 --> 00:23:54,400
in mr. sylar's place the other day.

390
00:23:54,430 --> 00:23:55,630
you were?

391
00:23:55,660 --> 00:23:57,300
well,isn't that meadowsweet

392
00:23:57,330 --> 00:23:59,260
just the finest-smelling thing you ever smelled?

393
00:23:59,300 --> 00:24:00,600
it sure is.

394
00:24:00,630 --> 00:24:03,060
but the problem is,is all your wreaths had sold out

395
00:24:03,100 --> 00:24:05,860
before we got the chance to buy one. oh,fudge!

396
00:24:05,900 --> 00:24:08,230
you wouldn't have another one that we could buy from you?

397
00:24:08,260 --> 00:24:11,560
no,i'm afraid those were the only ones i had for this season.

398
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:12,930
tell me something --

399
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:15,360
why did you decide to make them out of meadowsweet?

400
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,430
why,the smell,of course!

401
00:24:17,460 --> 00:24:19,700
i don't think i've ever smelled anything finer.

402
00:24:19,730 --> 00:24:21,400
yeah,um,you mentioned that.

403
00:24:21,430 --> 00:24:23,100
what's going on,honey?

404
00:24:23,130 --> 00:24:26,400
well,just some nice boys asking about my wreaths,dear.

405
00:24:26,430 --> 00:24:28,600
oh,the wreaths are fine. fine wreaths.

406
00:24:28,630 --> 00:24:31,800
oh,care for some peanut brittle?

407
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,230
we're okay.

408
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:41,430
i knew it!

409
00:24:41,460 --> 00:24:43,600
something was way off with those two.

410
00:24:43,630 --> 00:24:44,730
what'd you find?

411
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:46,130
the carrigans lived in seattle last year,

412
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:47,930
where two abductions took place right around christmas.

413
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:49,800
they moved here in january.

414
00:24:49,830 --> 00:24:52,460
all that christmas crap in their house wasn't boughs of holly.

415
00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:53,960
it was vervain and mint.

416
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,200
pagan stuff? serious pagan stuff.

417
00:24:56,230 --> 00:24:58,360
so,what,ozzie and harriet are keeping a pagan god

418
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,800
hidden underneath their plastic-covered couch?

419
00:25:00,830 --> 00:25:02,330
i don't know. we got to check them out.

420
00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:03,830
so,what about bobby?

421
00:25:03,860 --> 00:25:06,830
he's sure evergreen stakes will kill this thing,right?

422
00:25:06,860 --> 00:25:09,260
yeah,he's sure.

423
00:25:34,860 --> 00:25:36,960
see? plastic.

424
00:26:14,300 --> 00:26:16,130
hey,dean.

425
00:27:44,660 --> 00:27:45,930
sam!

426
00:27:59,330 --> 00:28:02,730
gosh,i wish you boys hadn't come down here.

427
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:24,260
dean?

428
00:28:24,300 --> 00:28:26,630
you okay?

429
00:28:26,660 --> 00:28:28,360
yeah,i think so.

430
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:33,630
so,i guess we're dealing with mr. and mrs. god.

431
00:28:33,660 --> 00:28:35,700
nice to know.

432
00:28:35,730 --> 00:28:38,700
ooh,and here we thought you two lazybones

433
00:28:38,730 --> 00:28:41,860
were gonna sleep straight through all the fun stuff.

434
00:28:41,900 --> 00:28:44,300
miss all this? nah,we're partyers.

435
00:28:44,330 --> 00:28:46,130
isn't he a kick in the pants,honey?

436
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:48,360
you're hunters is what you are.

437
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:49,860
and you're pagan gods.

438
00:28:49,900 --> 00:28:52,630
so,why don't we just call it even and go our separate ways?

439
00:28:52,660 --> 00:28:54,360
so you can bring more hunters and kill us?

440
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,300
i don't think so!

441
00:28:56,330 --> 00:28:58,530
you should have thought about that before snacking on humans.

442
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:00,260
oh,now,don't get all wet.

443
00:29:00,300 --> 00:29:04,760
oh,why,we used to take over a hundred tributes a year.

444
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:07,260
and that's a fact.

445
00:29:07,300 --> 00:29:10,360
now what do we take? what,two? three?

446
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:13,360
hardy boys here make five.

447
00:29:15,230 --> 00:29:17,230
now,that's not so bad,is it?

448
00:29:17,260 --> 00:29:19,730
you say it like that,you guys are the cunninghams.

449
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:21,860
you,mister,better show us a little respect.

450
00:29:21,900 --> 00:29:24,730
or what? you'll eat us?

451
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:25,760
not so fast.

452
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,400
there's rituals to be followed first.

453
00:29:28,430 --> 00:29:30,660
oh,we're just sticklers for ritual.

454
00:29:30,700 --> 00:29:32,660
and you know what kicks off the whole shebang?

455
00:29:32,700 --> 00:29:34,560
let me guess --meadowsweet.

456
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:36,730
oh,shucks --you're all out of wreaths.

457
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:39,060
i guess we'll just have to cancel the sacrifice,huh?

458
00:29:39,100 --> 00:29:42,230
oh,don't be such a gloomy gus.

459
00:29:42,260 --> 00:29:44,230
there.

460
00:29:46,730 --> 00:29:49,130
don't they just look darling?

461
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:50,660
good enough to eat.

462
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:55,200
all righty-roo. step number two.

463
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:01,630
sammy.

464
00:30:01,660 --> 00:30:02,460
sammy!

465
00:30:02,500 --> 00:30:04,760
d-don't!

466
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:06,900
leave him alone,you son of a bitch!

467
00:30:06,930 --> 00:30:10,300
hear how they talk to us? to gods?

468
00:30:10,330 --> 00:30:13,460
listen,pal,back in the day,we were worshiped by millions.

469
00:30:13,500 --> 00:30:15,930
times have changed! tell me about it.

470
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,830
all of a sudden,this jesus character is the hot new thing in town.

471
00:30:18,860 --> 00:30:21,130
all of a sudden,our altars are being burned down,

472
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:23,400
and we're being hunted down like common monsters.

473
00:30:23,430 --> 00:30:27,900
but did we say a peep? oh,no,no,no,we did not.

474
00:30:27,930 --> 00:30:29,930
two millennium.

475
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:33,960
we kept a low profile. we got jobs,a mortgage.

476
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:35,560
we --what was that word,dear?

477
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:36,960
we assimilated.

478
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,030
yeah,we assimilated.

479
00:30:39,060 --> 00:30:41,700
why,we play bridge on tuesdays and fridays.

480
00:30:41,730 --> 00:30:43,460
we're just like everybody else.

481
00:30:43,500 --> 00:30:45,600
you're not blending in as smooth as you think,lady.

482
00:30:45,630 --> 00:30:48,700
this might pinch a bit,dear.

483
00:30:48,730 --> 00:30:50,530
you bitch!

484
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,230
oh,my goodness me!

485
00:30:52,260 --> 00:30:54,760
somebody owes a nickel to the swear jar.

486
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:57,660
oh,do you know what i say when i feel like swearing?

487
00:30:57,700 --> 00:30:59,300
"fudge."

488
00:30:59,330 --> 00:31:01,530
i'll try and remember that!

489
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:03,530
you boys have no idea how lucky you are.

490
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:06,230
there was a time when kids came from miles around

491
00:31:06,260 --> 00:31:08,100
just to be sitting where you are.

492
00:31:08,130 --> 00:31:11,200
what do you think you're doing with those?

493
00:31:11,230 --> 00:31:14,000
you fudging touch me again,i'll fudging kill you!

494
00:31:14,030 --> 00:31:15,500
very good.

495
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:25,660
no,don't.

496
00:31:33,860 --> 00:31:36,760
oh,we've got a winner!

497
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:51,660
what else,dear?

498
00:31:51,700 --> 00:31:55,160
well,let's see. uh,fingernail,blood...

499
00:31:57,530 --> 00:31:59,000
i forgot the tooth!

500
00:31:59,030 --> 00:32:01,260
oh,dear!

501
00:32:01,300 --> 00:32:03,160
merry christmas,sam.

502
00:32:09,260 --> 00:32:12,330
open wide... and say,"ahh."

503
00:32:16,430 --> 00:32:19,030
somebody gonna get that?

504
00:32:20,860 --> 00:32:22,560
you should get that.

505
00:32:25,460 --> 00:32:27,160
come on.

506
00:32:30,130 --> 00:32:32,260
merry christmas!

507
00:32:32,300 --> 00:32:34,160
i told you i smelled fruitcake.

508
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:35,730
you shouldn't have.

509
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:37,300
oh,bite your tongue. it's my pleasure.

510
00:32:37,330 --> 00:32:38,560
it looks scrumptious!

511
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:40,700
neal and i are going caroling. you care to join?

512
00:32:40,730 --> 00:32:41,930
you know,we would...

513
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:44,900
it's my back -- darn thing's giving me fits.

514
00:32:44,930 --> 00:32:46,560
oh,well,that's a shame.

515
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:48,730
-oh,well. merry christmas. -and to you,too,dear.

516
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:51,700
-hey,are we still on for bridge tomorrow? -with bells on!

517
00:32:51,730 --> 00:32:53,830
-yes! okay,bye. -bye-bye.

518
00:33:02,460 --> 00:33:04,600
now,where were we?

519
00:33:18,530 --> 00:33:20,430
what do we do now?!

520
00:33:20,460 --> 00:33:22,730
the evergreen stake's in the basement!

521
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:24,760
well,we need more evergreen,dean!

522
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:28,430
i think i just found us some more.

523
00:33:28,460 --> 00:33:31,200
help me get this.

524
00:33:31,230 --> 00:33:32,260
go!

525
00:33:34,130 --> 00:33:36,400
come on!

526
00:34:02,860 --> 00:34:05,330
you little thing....

527
00:34:06,430 --> 00:34:08,330
i loved that tree.

528
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:20,900
madge!

529
00:34:51,660 --> 00:34:53,900
merry christmas.

530
00:35:10,730 --> 00:35:12,500
sam,wake up.

531
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:17,500
dad was here.look what he brought.

532
00:35:17,530 --> 00:35:19,560
dad was here?

533
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:22,530
yeah. look at this.we made a killing.

534
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:25,700
why didn't he try to wake me up?

535
00:35:25,730 --> 00:35:29,000
he tried to,like a thousand times.

536
00:35:29,030 --> 00:35:31,100
he did?

537
00:35:31,130 --> 00:35:34,830
yeah. did i tell you he would give us christmas or what?

538
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:37,360
go on,dive in.

539
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:53,830
what is it?

540
00:35:53,860 --> 00:35:55,900
sapphire barbie?

541
00:35:55,930 --> 00:35:59,100
dad probably thinks you're a girl.

542
00:35:59,130 --> 00:36:00,160
shut up.

543
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:01,630
open that one.

544
00:36:10,530 --> 00:36:12,130
dad never showed,did he?

545
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:13,860
yeah,he did,i swear.

546
00:36:13,900 --> 00:36:16,930
dean...where'd you get all this stuff?

547
00:36:21,900 --> 00:36:23,800
nice house up the block.

548
00:36:26,060 --> 00:36:29,030
i swear i didn't know they were chick presents.

549
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:34,460
look,i'm sure dad would have been here if he could.

550
00:36:34,500 --> 00:36:36,300
if he's alive.

551
00:36:36,330 --> 00:36:37,460
don't say that.

552
00:36:37,500 --> 00:36:39,000
of course he's alive.

553
00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:40,700
he's dad.

554
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:51,660
here. take this.

555
00:36:51,700 --> 00:36:54,130
no. no,that's for dad.

556
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:57,000
dad lied to me.

557
00:36:57,030 --> 00:36:58,830
i want you to have it.

558
00:37:02,260 --> 00:37:04,660
-you sure? -i'm sure.

559
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:25,630
thank you,sam. i-i love it.

560
00:37:44,500 --> 00:37:47,000
hey. you get the beer?

561
00:37:47,030 --> 00:37:49,000
what's all this?

562
00:37:49,030 --> 00:37:52,030
what do you think it is? it's -- it's christmas.

563
00:37:57,600 --> 00:37:59,700
what made you change your mind?

564
00:38:02,230 --> 00:38:04,230
here,uh...

565
00:38:04,260 --> 00:38:06,760
try the eggnog.

566
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:09,560
let me know if it needs some more kick.

567
00:38:14,530 --> 00:38:15,860
no,we're good.

568
00:38:15,900 --> 00:38:17,030
-yeah? -yeah.

569
00:38:17,060 --> 00:38:20,200
good. well,uh,have a seat.

570
00:38:20,230 --> 00:38:22,930
let's do christmas stuff or whatever.

571
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:24,830
all right,first thing's first.

572
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:35,330
merry christmas,sam.

573
00:38:37,460 --> 00:38:40,100
-where'd you get these? -someplace special.

574
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:42,930
the gas mart down the street.

575
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:44,600
open them up.

576
00:38:44,630 --> 00:38:47,760
well,great minds think alike,dean.

577
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:49,760
really?

578
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:51,460
there you go.

579
00:38:51,500 --> 00:38:53,500
come on!

580
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:58,260
skin mags!

581
00:38:58,300 --> 00:39:00,260
and...

582
00:39:00,300 --> 00:39:01,560
shaving cream.

583
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,630
you like?

584
00:39:03,660 --> 00:39:06,630
yeah. yeah.

585
00:39:13,260 --> 00:39:14,800
look at this

586
00:39:14,830 --> 00:39:16,660
fuel for me and fuel for my baby.

587
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:19,630
these are awesome. thanks.

588
00:39:19,660 --> 00:39:21,430
good.

589
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:26,800
merry christmas,bro.

590
00:39:28,860 --> 00:39:30,860
here,merry christmas.

591
00:40:02,730 --> 00:40:05,600
do you feel like watching the game?

592
00:40:05,630 --> 00:40:06,930
absolutely.

593
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:09,560
all right.